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50 things to appreciate about your partner

When you've been together a while, the good things about your partner can fade into the background. Not because they've stopped, but because they've become normal. Appreciation is the habit of noticing them again. Here are 50 places to look.

Who they are

  1. How kind they are to people who can do nothing for them.
  2. Their sense of humour, especially the jokes only you get.
  3. How honest they are, even when it's awkward.
  4. Their patience.
  5. The way they stay calm when things go wrong.
  6. Their curiosity about the world.
  7. How hard they work.
  8. Their loyalty to the people they love.
  9. That they can admit when they're wrong.
  10. Their courage when they try something new.

How they show up for you

  1. They listen properly, without looking at their phone.
  2. They remember the things that matter to you.
  3. They check in when you've had a hard day.
  4. They make you feel safe to be yourself.
  5. They back you up in front of other people.
  6. They give you space when you need it.
  7. They celebrate your wins as if they were their own.
  8. They forgive quickly.
  9. They tell you the truth kindly.
  10. They make you laugh when you least expect it.

The everyday things

  1. The cup of tea that just appears.
  2. Taking the bins out without being asked.
  3. Warming up the car on a cold morning.
  4. Cooking your favourite meal.
  5. Remembering what you need from the shop.
  6. Doing the jobs they know you hate.
  7. Planning the dates and the trips.
  8. The good morning and goodnight messages.
  9. Charging your phone when you forget.
  10. Making the bed (or at least trying).

How they treat others

  1. How they are with your family.
  2. How they are with friends who are struggling.
  3. How they treat waiters, drivers and strangers.
  4. How they look after pets, plants and anything small.
  5. How generous they are with their time.
  6. How they show up for the people they love.
  7. How they make guests feel welcome.
  8. How they stand up for what's right.
  9. How they encourage the people around them.
  10. How they make everyone feel included.

Your life together

  1. The inside jokes nobody else understands.
  2. The way you can talk about anything.
  3. The comfortable silences.
  4. The way they've grown, and how you've grown together.
  5. The plans you're making.
  6. The hard times you've come through.
  7. The way they make home feel like home.
  8. The little rituals that are just yours.
  9. That they choose you, again and again.
  10. Simply that they're here.

Turn it into a thank-you

Noticing is half the job. The other half is saying it. Pick one thing from this list today, add the detail of when you noticed it, and tell them. A specific "I loved how you looked after my mum on Sunday" means far more than "you're great". See how to show appreciation to your partner for why.

Swoon gives you a daily question about appreciating each other, and a place to send what you noticed straight to your partner's widget. Looking for the words? Try these love note ideas.

Coming soon to the App Store.